so explain again why im purple
no
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Randomize
