My sheets look like a crime scene.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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