seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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