I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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