Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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