I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
