I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
