2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
