I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
