I need help removing her.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
