on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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