We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
