I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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