Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
