Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You have to summon your inner elephant
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
