I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
