That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
