I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
