she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
its not stalking. its research.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I want her autograph on my taint
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
