well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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