He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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