yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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