Barsexuality is the new black.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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