Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You're like the curious george of whores
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
