I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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