Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
