dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
