I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
