I puked a lego.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
