Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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