You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
