I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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