Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
