how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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