I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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