covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize