I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
