Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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