His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
