the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
