who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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