Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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