I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
