just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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