I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
