Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
