Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
