What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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