Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
