butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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