im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
