the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize