He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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