He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
