Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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