i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
