So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
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