the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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