i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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