Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
