Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
