your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
