I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
