He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
