i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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