I wannas sexs uuuuu
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
