I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
