I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
