Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
