Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
