Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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