why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
