It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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