Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I DEMAND FORESKIN
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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