I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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