i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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